


I Didn't Know I Wanted To Kiss Him Before I Did It, But Now I Don't Want To Stop

by AwkwardMandork



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), He falls into the moat, I'm not sorry, ILY, M/M, This is after he tries to guilt trip baz into sex btw, baz sticks a creep to the wall outside mummer's house, cowscd, he deserved it, if you need someone to talk to, im here for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 23:21:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardMandork/pseuds/AwkwardMandork
Summary: Baz is a jock and plays football. Simon is a nerd trying to get through school. Draw your own conclusions. I mentioned Hogwarts in this for shits and giggles. Read the tags. It's kind of important.





	I Didn't Know I Wanted To Kiss Him Before I Did It, But Now I Don't Want To Stop

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS!

Simon

I have no idea why Penny dragged me out here. We both know I’m not good at most of the subjects in school, and I’ve always had this fear that if I started doing not… good academics-wise, I would be kicked out of Watford. Maybe I won’t find out until i get my letter for the next year. Rather than having a train ticket and which station, and what I would need for the next year, it would be a letter from the Mage detailing all of my fuck ups and why I won’t be invited back to Watford in the autumn. It would be my fault, because I wasn’t anywhere near the top of my class like Penny and my roommate, Baz Pitch. They were always competing. I was just trying my best to not blow myself up.

Yet here we are, watching a football game. Honestly, why do we even have football? It’s not like any other schools nearby play it. There’s Hogwarts, but they play Quidditch. I think we should play Quidditch. It’s a fun sport, but football is much more active. There’s this player out there with the lavender Watford shirt on with a giant “61” on the back. I can’t see much else, but he looks awfully fit, with long, sculpted legs and calves. His black hair bellowed out behind him as he ran, making goals and sliding as he kicked the ball across the dewey grass. His white socks were covered in mud and grass stains, but somehow, it only made him look more marble and less human. The player ran towards the stands and raised his arms, and suddenly, the stands were cheering, and I caught a clear glimpse of his face and the name on the back of his shirt-

Pitch.

That tosser. I can’t believe him. When did he get so fit? It must be in his vampire genes. There’s no way someone as stuck up and stupid as him would have time to train like that. He usually ignores me, and when he doesn’t, he’s a complete arse. There is no way for him to be kind to me, even for a second when he’s not ignoring me.

Penny jabs me in the side with her elbow. “Simon, stop scowling and enjoy the game! We’re winning!”

“Pennyyyy,” I groan, “It’s Watford versus Watford! We would have won anyway!!!”

She rolls her eyes. ‘Simon,” she chides me, “It’s year against year. We are the lower year. And, we’re winning. Can’t you just relax and enjoy yourself, just this once?”

She has a point. I never let myself breathe. I should relax more, but that’s kinda hard to do when you have a vampire for a roommate. (“You don’t know if he’s REALLY a vampire, Simon. Even if he is, if he wanted you dead, wouldn’t he have killed you by now?” Even if Penny is right, it doesn’t give Baz the right to use his weird vampire powers to make me like him. I hate him.)

By the time the game ends though, I’m tired and I want to sleep. So, after walking Penny to her room, I climb the steps of Mummer’s house and push the door of the shower open. Baz isn’t back yet, and honestly, I don’t expect him to be. He still has to hunt. He’ll probably come back when I’m asleep. I get out of the shower and change into my Watford pygamas, then walk back into the room to see Baz and some bloke in his bed, kissing, giggling, and groping each other. My face heats up and I slam the bathroom door shut behind me. Baz sits up and looks at me like he just noticed that I live here, too. “Snow, will you keep the window closed tonight? Then, he and the other student (I recognize him as one of the football players, someone on Baz’s team) go back to kissing and grinding on each other. Everything goes red and I can feel the tension growing in my gut. I throw the window open and slam the door on my way out, and I head down to Penny’s room. I would go to Agatha’s, but we broke up a few weeks ago, and it would be awkward for me to just appear and try to talk with her. The red fades from my vision as I focus on breathing, trying to ignore what I saw.

I’m not mad. I’m not. I’m…..

What am I feeling?

My heart is racing, and my mind is blank. Time is stopped, and I, I’m stuck. I don’t know why I care so much. I hate Baz. Baz hates me. Why do I care?!

Penny opens the door to her dorm and she takes a look at me, and without saying anything to me, she pulls me inside and hugs me tight.

Baz

I’m sick and bloody tired of seeing Snow everywhere I go. Most nights, I have to lose him on my way to go hunt. He sees me and he glowers, and even when I’m just trying to talk to him, he sneers and walks away. He looks like he’s always about to explode, like a ticking time grenade I somehow had the pleasure of pulling the pin on. Though, as frustrated as I was, I probably shouldn’t have done something so immature and childish.

I have one of my mates from Football below me, kissing me, holding my arm and pulling me down over and over again. I feel like I’m doing push ups to try to kiss him, and I don’t even really want to. I want to make Simon mad. I want him to know that I’m gay, and I want that to anger him. I want him to know that he can’t have me.

Even though he doesn’t.

Fuck, I need to stop.

I sit up and push my mate off of me. “Alright, that’s enough of that… I’ve changed my mind.”

‘What? But we haven’t even done anything yet! Come on, you practically owe it to me-”  
I cut him off with “Stop right there!”, and take care of him properly after. Then, I go to find Simon.

Simon

I let out what I’m thinking and my feelings to Penny. I tell her about how seeing Baz with someone else made me mad, and that I didn’t like when he acted like I wasn’t there, and that I hated how fit he was. He always seemed to be able to get anyone he wanted, even Agatha, and I was just his stupid uncontrollable roommate with his nose in a book and holding his wand backwards.

Penny interrupted me and put a hand on my arm. “Simon, you seem to have an awful lot to say for someone that doesn’t care. Are you sure you’re really apathetic towards Baz and his boyfriend?”

“I never said they were boyfriends!!”

There’s a knock at the door and a sigh. “Bunce, is Snow with you? I need to talk to him.”

Penny looked at me then lied through her teeth, “No. Can I take a message?”

Baz sighed. He could smell Simon through the door, the woody, heavy, smoky scent leaking through the hardwood until Baz was dizzy. “Snow, I know you’re in there. If you’re not coming out, then I’ll just talk.”

Baz

I sigh. “Simon, I’m sorry. That was stupid. I shouldn’t have.. I had no precedent of pretending to sleep with someone. The truth is, I wanted to make you mad. I want you to go off, and blow up at me. I want you to…. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

I know he’s listening. I know he can hear me, even if he hasn’t said anything. I know he’s there on the other side of the door, listening to me pour my heart out. Finally, after what feels like years of silence, he speaks.

“I like when you call me that,” He mumbled, opening the door and looking up at me. I can see his blue eyes shine, and I can feel a blush creep onto my cheeks. I want to kiss him. He’s standing there, with his mouth open as he breathes, his eyelids clearly heavy as they drooped slightly with exhaustion. “I like when you call me Simon.”

I roll my eyes. The dolt. I pour my heart out to him, and all he gets is I called him Simon. I scoff and turn around, ready to go back to the dorm when Simon grabs my arm and spins he back to him, and before I can say anything, he has me against the wall, standing on his toes to kiss me.

He’s kissing me.

My brain short circuits and I don’t react until Simon starts pulling away. Then, I pull him closer, not letting him go. I’ve finally got him right where I want him, and I’m not letting go of him now. Now, he’s mine.

BONUS

Simon

I wake up to screaming. It’s coming from outside, and I have to admit, I’m a little confused. I mean, I’m always at least a little confused, but now I’m seriously confused. Someone outside is screaming! I scramble up from the bed and reorient myself. I’m on the wrong side of the room. Baz is looking at the window with a sour glare, and I have a feeling he knows exactly what’s outside making that wretched noise.

“Don’t worry about it, Snow. Come back, and lay with me.”

“Someone’s outside! They’re in trouble!”

“They’re not in trouble. Don’t worry about it.”

I race to the open window anyway, and look down. There, attached to the wall, is the boy I saw with Baz last night. Baz meets me at the window, puts an arm around me and points his wand at the boy. “_Release Me_,” he spelled, and the boy fell into the moat. Baz smiles, and I think he looks far too smug. Weren’t they just snogging the night before???

“He tried to guilt trip me into having sex with him,” Baz explained, and suddenly I don’t feel bad for him anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @bazzledazzledrawings on Instagram for making the prompt list, and for more content like this, follow me at @fuck.the.mage on Insta! If you want this prompt to be expanded on, please message me on Instagram at @awkwardmandork. I have comssions open as well, if that's a thing you're interested in. I love you all! Thank you for reading!!!


End file.
